“The voice of the sea is seductive; never ceasing, whispering, clearing, murmuring, inviting the soul to wander for a spell in the abysses of solitude; to lose itself in mazes of inward contemplation. The voice of the sea speaks to the soul. The touch of the sea is sensuous, enfolding the body in its soft, close embrace.” ~ Kate Chopin, The Awakening

Aphrodite awakens in us, born from the sea of our soul. She is symbolic of erotic dreams and desires. The ocean, saline, amniotic, the primordial sea, womb of life. We are made of stardust and seashells, and all of the yearning that stretches beyond our bodies. The erotic within us is that yearning, the coming together and ignition of our souls. We are longing to feel that magical passion for life when we seek the erotic, as Eros was spirited away by his love for Psyche.

From Wikipedia:

“Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It’s like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven’t seen in a long time.” ~ Haruki Murakami

I could say that I’ve been asleep. Dreaming, for how long I’m not sure, perhaps years. My soul has been caught in the tide of reverie and longing. There are layers of my being that I do not reveal that are sediment, deep within. Places within me that I didn’t know existed. Just as grains of sand are eroded rock and shell, thousands of years have created it— our souls have mysteries like that. When the light sparks and the glimmer of something beautiful is discovered, then that is the moment. It is a memory. So I have been going along this current of memory, like the ocean waves, lost in it, not caring where it takes me. I have had many lovers in my life and many erotic experiences. All fragments of my erotic landscape. It’s all there to use as a palette, along with the imagination. Writing about the erotic is really an adventure on the soul level.

“Writing is a process, a journey into memory and the soul.” ~Isabel Allende

You might say I’ve been in the mood for love. I’ve been dormant, sleeping within. But there has been a marvelous phenomenon happening inside of me lately, an awakening of my soul. This awakening has been sparked, like Sleeping Beauty, by a kiss of life, and now I am vibrating with passion. Like any birth, there is blood involved, and pain, and things that I had not known about myself. All this time, I think I have been sleeping. Now it’s all fire and passion and living in every moment. I haven’t had much time to sleep. My mind is restless, and I am hyper-aware, even my flesh is alive with sensitivity. My soul is awake and my heart is full of passionate fire. Awakening.

“Erotica is using a feather; pornography is using the whole chicken.” ~Isabel Allende

I’ve been writing stories, erotic love stories, but in the process of writing, I am learning something new about myself. I make discoveries. It’s like sifting through soil, finding fragile treasures, tiny shells, whorls of prismatic layers and inner pearly chambers. Inside oneself is the treasure. My erotic self is tender within and soft. I am beginning to see the beauty of this process, searching through my memory, finding things that I never realized until the writing revealed it to me. When I say “erotic” what I am attempting to say is “passionate nature” and thus, we are naturally erotic and passionate beings. Passion is about life. And life is about sex and love, and all the complexities of being human. It is our instinct, to love. Longing is the yearning, to discover what lies within.

“Writing is like making love. Don’t worry about the orgasm, just concentrate on the process.” ~Isabel Allende

When I first started writing erotica, I had no idea what path I was choosing. It is easy to say, “Oh, yes, I will write about sex,” as if doing so automatically makes it something delicious to write about. But what ends up happening in the process is an unearthing of one’s psyche and all the contents. It’s a veritable Pandora’s Box. Sex is life. So I’m writing about life. Yes, even creating fiction is writing about life. Creating characters that are part of one’s self, so you really cannot get away with hiding it all. Sooner or later, it all comes to surface. As a painter, I thought of my paints and brushes as my language. Writing poetry and erotica were secondary. I kept it secret like a diary. It revealed too much of myself. Painting, on the other hand, was pure expression, all color and light. I didn’t have to explain my reasons or confess my darknesses and shadows. I just had to apply the paint to the canvas and allow the feeling to come through.

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” ~Anaïs Nin

I love Anaïs Nin’s “Delta of Venus” and “Little Birds” out of all her writings. I admire her use of dream-like imagery and poetic layering. I like that her characters are imperfect and human. When I read various writers’ works in erotica anthologies, I enjoy some the modern stories, but in general, the lewd and formulaic writing is disappointing. I want to say I enjoy most of it, but, just like anything worth its weight in salt, most of the stuff our there sounds the same. I don’t want to churn out the stories full of “cock” and “pussy” and “cunt” and “thrust” without those words being used in a creative way, adding some juice to them; those names for our body parts that deserve more than being thrown about in between verbs and periods and paragraphs. Reinventing those “fuck words” with new life and energy, charging them with cosmic fuel.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anaïs Nin

So, in the quest to write erotica, I have begun to discover, I am writing about life, love and human beings. Writing about being human, sexual and flawed, vulnerable, and other aspects. Fantasy, dreams. Romanticism, shadowy recesses and hidden corners of my erotic mind come into the realm of the written word.

I want it messy. I want it raw and real and vibrant. I want romance and longing. Passion. I know it may sound cliche or corny, but I want love. I want to be covered in the musky scent of sex. I want the stories I write to express something about human emotion and how life isn’t perfect. I want to create dreams and pleasure. I want to write about passion and the impermanent and sometimes heartbreaking beauty of life.

(painting by Gajin Fujita)

Henry Miller loved Anaïs Nin. She was married to Hugh Guiler. Her diaries, Vol.1, 1931–1934, were written when Anaïs lived a bohemian life with Henry Miller during her time in Paris. Her husband (Guiler) is not mentioned in her diary at that time. Henry and Anaïs remained lovers and kindled their passion for one another as artists, as writers, in love with each other; in love with life and the creative fire, passion.

Henry Miller to Anaïs Nin on March 4, 1932
“Three minutes after you have gone. No, I can’t restrain it. I tell you what you already know – I love you. It is this I destroyed over and over again. At Dijon I wrote you long passionate letters – if you had remained in Switzerland I would have sent them – but how could I send them to Louveciennes? Anais, I can’t say much now – I am in a fever. I could scarcely talk to you because I was continually on the point of getting up and throwing my arms around you.” 

Anaïs Nin to Henry Miller on March 26, 1932
“This is strange, Henry. Before, as soon as I came home from all sorts of places I would sit down and write in my journal. Now I want to write you, talk with you. [...] I love when you say all that happens is good, it is good. I say all that happens is wonderful. For me it is all symphonic, and I am so aroused by living – god, Henry, in you alone I have found the same swelling of enthusiasm, the same quick rising of the blood, the fullness, the fullness … Before, I almost used to think there was something wrong. Everybody else seemed to have the brakes on. [...] I never feel the brakes. I overflow. And when I feel your excitement about life flaring, next to mine, then it makes me dizzy.”

Passionate souls and creative spirits, Anaïs and Henry wrote erotica together with other writers and artist friends, for a dollar per page commissioned by a secretive patron. The patron was a wealthy Oklahoma oil millionaire Roy Milisander Johnson. He commissioned these erotic manuscripts from writers like Anaïs and Henry. But. He wanted the poetry cut out. He just asked for the matter-of-fact details of sex.

Anaïs Nin on writing erotica for the eccentric patron:

“I gather poets around me and we all write beautiful erotica. As we have to suppress poetry, lyrical flight, and are condemned to focus only on sensuality, we have violent explosions of poetry. Writing erotica becomes a road to sainthood rather than to debauchery…We have to cut out the poetry, and are haunted by the marvelous tales we cannot tell. We have sat around, imagined this old man, talked of how much we hate him, because he will not allow us to make a fusion of sexuality with feeling, sensuality and emotion, and lyrical flights which intensify eroticism.” 

Anaïs could not continue removing the poetry from the erotic. The wealthy patron became an albatross to her creative juices, and, finding the arrangement intolerable, she and the other writers could not go on writing sex without the poetry of life. She wrote a letter which the patron never received:

“Dear Collector;

We hate you. Sex loses all its its power and magic when it becomes explicit, mechanical, overdone, when it becomes a mechanistic obsession. It becomes a bore. You have taught us more than anyone I know how wrong it is not to mix it with emotion, hunger, desire, lust, whims, caprices, personal ties, deeper relationships, which change its colour, flavour, rhythms, intensities…You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood…”

And in the art of writing erotica, life is what it’s all about. Life and living passionately, as if every single moment was as precious as our breath. A great big “Yes” when we are lost in pleasure. A “Yes” when we are in the arms of our lover.

“All night I could not sleep, because of the moonlight on my bed, I kept on hearing a voice calling: Out of Nowhere, Nothing answered “yes.” ~ Zi Ye (6th-3rd century B.C.E.) Chinese poet

(painting by Gajin Fujita)

Erotic Freedom. We have had 25,000 years of it, according to Alan Moore in his book titled 25,000 Years of Erotic Freedom:

With each new technological advance, pornography has proliferated and degraded in quality. Today, porn is everywhere, but where is it art?

25,000 Years of Erotic Freedom surveys the history of pornography and argues that the success and vibrancy of a society relates to its permissiveness in sexual matters.

This history of erotic art brings together some of the most provocative illustrations ever published, showcasing the evolution of pornography over diverse cultures from prehistoric to modern times. Beginning with the Venus of Willendorf, created between 24,000-22,000 bce, and book-ended by contemporary photography, it also contains a timeline covering major erotic works in several cultures. 25,000 Years of Erotic Freedom ably captures the ancient and insuppressible creative drive of the sexual spirit, making this book a treatise on erotic art.

TIMELINE OF EROTIC FREEDOM

(excerpt from Alan Moore’s 25,000 Years of Erotic Freedom)

• Venus of Willendorf created 24,000-22,000 B.C.
• Founding of Rome (753 B.C.)
• Greek artists create pornographic drawings & paintings on amphora, goblets, and vases (5th century B.C.)
• Romans paint frescoes in Villa Dei Misteri at Pompeii of sexual acts and erotic images (1st century B.C.)
• In Middle Ages, hundreds of erotic carvings found on colonnades of Gothic churches
• sculpture of David by Donatello (1430-32)
• Birth of Venus painting by Botticelli (1480)
• Savonarola, a notorious and powerful censor, persuades artists of Firenze, Italy to destroy their nude art (1497)
• Pope Paul III establishes the Universal Roman Inquisition and condemnation of “immoral works of art” (1542)
• Pope Paul IV creates a list of books he banned to the Inquisition (1559)
• The Council of Trent of the Catholic Church issues the “Librorum Prohibitum” updated until 1948, including more than 4,000 works. The index was rescinded in 1965. (1564)
• Licensing Act of 1662 gives the English courts a mandate to “suppress indecent publications” (1662)
• “PORNOGRAPHY” comes into widespread use as a term in 19th century, appearing in the Oxford Dictionary (1857)
• Scandal of Oscar Wilde’s trials (1895)

Erotic Freedom has survived since the Victorian period. Since playwright Oscar Wilde was convicted of “gross indecency” in the stifling era of censorship for his writings and sexual preference, we have begun to loosen the bindings of sexual & erotic repression, dancing with the Great Goddess into the next millennium. Artists, writers, poets, novelists, photographers, sculptors, painters, musicians, burlesque dancers, belly dancers, prostitutes, web cam performers, lesbians, gays, straights, bi-sexuals, transgenders, hermaphrodites, erotic models, pornographers, erotic artists, shibari enthusiasts & artists, polyamorists, creative beings of the world, male and female, have the right to be sexually free and express themselves.

“The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.” ~ Oscar Wilde

(1885-1930) D.H. Lawrence, an English writer, was a famous novelist, poet, playwright, essayist, and literary critic. His novel, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, was censored when it was first published in 1928, and it was later part of a trial under the Obscene Publications Act. But D. H. Lawrence was true to his erotic expressions in his literature, not to be cast aside as “smut” :

Lawrence’s opinions earned him many enemies and he endured official persecution, censorship, and misrepresentation of his creative work throughout the second half of his life, much of which he spent in a voluntary exile he called his “savage pilgrimage.”At the time of his death, his public reputation was that of a pornographer who had wasted his considerable talents. E. M. Forster, in an obituary notice, challenged this widely held view, describing him as, “The greatest imaginative novelist of our generation.” {quote from Wikipedia}

He was not alone.

Henry Miller, James Joyce, and Walt Whitman, to name a few. Here is a list of Banned Books in history. Oscar Wilde’s play “Salome” was deemed “vulgar,” and Tennessee Williams’ play “A Streetcar Named Desire” was “controversial” because of the story of a woman’s rape and mental decline.

Writer Henry Miller, lover of Anaïs Nin, published his first printing of Tropic of Cancer in 1934, and all of his books were banned in the United States, as his works contain detailed accounts of sexual experiences. His writing opened the doors of sex in American writing. He continued to write novels that were banned in the United States on the “grounds of obscenity.”

James Joyce’s Ulysses was banned for “obscenity.” In 1998, the Modern Library ranked Ulysses first on its list of the 100 best English-language novels of the 20th century.

Ulysses was an epic groundbreaking novel that was cause for much controversy due to its “Obscenity Allegations” :

“Written over a seven-year period from 1914 to 1921, the novel was serialized in the American journal The Little Review from 1918 until the publication of the Nausicaä episode led to a prosecution for obscenity. In 1919, sections of the novel also appeared in the London literary journal The Egoist, but the novel itself was banned in the United Kingdom until the 1930s. In 1920 after the US magazine The Little Review serialised a passage of the book dealing with the main character masturbating, a group called the New York Society for the Suppression of Vice, who objected to the book’s content, took action to attempt to keep the book out of the United States. At a trial in 1921 the magazine was declared obscene and, as a result, Ulysses was banned in the United States. In 1933, the publisher Random House arranged to import the French edition and have a copy seized by customs when the ship was unloaded, which it then contested. In United States v. One Book Called Ulysses, U.S. District Judge John M. Woolsey ruled on December 6th 1933 that the book was not pornographic and therefore could not be obscene, a decision that was called “epoch-making” by Stuart Gilbert.The Second Circuit Court of Appeals affirmed the ruling in 1934.Contrary to popular belief, Ulysses was never banned in Ireland.” {quote from Wikipedia under “Ulysses”}

All artists, writers, and creative people have the right to express themselves in art. Erotica, literature, paintings, poetry, music, and dance forms have the artistic freedom to involve the erotic. What about French Erotic postcards? Love letters? Erotic photography?

But we have much to celebrate. The latest and greatest news of New York Legislature passing a “same sex marriage” bill has us all shouting Let Freedom Ring!

“All censorships exist to prevent any one from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Fig leafs once covered genitals on sculptures. Paintings that were deemed “immoral” were covered and banned from museums. Writers were censored, and even criticized for their sexual identities. Like Oscar Wilde’s homosexual preferences, Walt Whitman was insulted for his presumed “bisexuality” based on his writings:

“Whitman’s sexuality is generally assumed to be homosexual or bisexual based on his poetry, though that has been at times disputed. His poetry depicts love and sexuality in a more earthy, individualistic way common in American culture before the medicalization of sexuality in the late 19th century. Though Leaves of Grass was often labeled pornographic or obscene, only one critic remarked on its author’s presumed sexual activity: in a November 1855 review, Rufus Wilmot Griswold suggested Whitman was guilty of “that horrible sin not to be mentioned among Christians”. Whitman had intense friendships with many men and boys throughout his life. Some biographers have claimed that he may not have actually engaged in sexual relationships with males, while others cite letters, journal entries and other sources which they claim as proof of the sexual nature of some of his relationships.” (quote from Wikipedia)

Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (known as Fanny Hill) by John Cleland was the first published erotic novel in England in 1748. Fanny Hill is considered the first original English prose pornography in novel form. It is one of the most prosecuted and banned books in history.

Quotes from Fanny Hill:

“I felt her dear lips again pressing and sucking my engine of love.”

“…and now, disengag’d from the shirt, I saw, with wonder and surprise, what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had proportions been observ’d, it must have belong’d to a young giant. Its prodigious size made me shrink again; yet I could not, without pleasure, behold, and even ventur’d to feel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory!”

Southern writer Kate Chopin wrote an erotic romance titled The Storm, which was composed on July 19, 1898. It was first published in The Complete Works of Kate Chopin in 1969. Kate Chopin did not dare publish it, as the sexual content would have caused great controversy. She had already caused enough by publishing her novel, The Awakening, which was condemned due to its subject matter of a woman’s non-conformist behavior and sexual desire outside of her marriage.

To quote from the Kate Chopin website: “She was the first woman writer in her country to accept passion as a legitimate subject for serious, outspoken fiction. Revolting against tradition and authority.”

Other writers, like Anaïs Nin, could not find a publisher that would risk printing their books. Anaïs Nin decided to do it herself. She printed her own books with her own printing press! She bought a foot-operated press and handset to print her own works.

Many other creative spirits have been deemed unpublishable, pornographic, obscene, vulgar, and controversial, with works of art and letters banned. But Erotic Freedom Prevails.

Let’s rejoice! Let us Sing The Body Electric! We have Erotic Freedom! No more fig leafs, no more censorship, freedom for all. And for those who are in difficulty, pain, in oppression and suppression, those in sexual slavery, let us work toward freedom for all human beings to be healthy, happy, and free.

Find organizations to help stop violence towards all people for their erotic, sexual and human rights.

• SOROPTIMIST helps stop sex slavery & trafficking
• support sex workers SWAAY Sex Work Activists, Allies and You

• Sexual Freedom Activist Network

(photos courtesy of www.abbywinters.com)

“Sex has been called the original sin, but there is nothing original about it, nor is it sinful.”~ Osho

More often than not, I prefer what is called, the Missionary position. A terribly unsexy name, I must admit. It conjures up visions of Missionaries, and I’m not sure if they have a sensual connotation for you, but it’s not something I find sexy.

Having difficulty in imagining a so-called Missionary, I can only begin to imagine the dowdy brown tunics they must wear, and of course, the fabric isn’t made of silk. Silk robes, like the Chinese ones, would be sensual. The feeling of silk is suggestive of skin against skin, and the deliciousness of it all. Oh no, my Missionaries wear wool. Scratchy brown wool. The brown wool isn’t a lovely chestnut, nor is it espresso. It is brown. Without any imagination whatsoever. Brown as blah as brown can be. And why bring Missionaries into the naming of sex positions if they won’t talk about it? It’s like naming ice cream flavors with someone who is lactose intolerant. Did Missionaries actually have sex? It a good question to ask if they are involving themselves as enforcers of sex positions that are the proper way.

It’s like naming ice cream flavors with someone who is lactose intolerant. Did Missionaries actually have sex? It a good question to ask if they are involving themselves as enforcers of sex positions that are ‘the proper way.’

The myth of “Missionary Position”, the name, came into existence because of Christian Missionaries. Thus, the appellation “Missionary Position” was coined due to their teachings. They taught, like a celibate schoolmarm, that the “man-on-top” position was the only appropriate way to have sexual intercourse. They believed it should be face-to-face, “man-on-top” so all the semen flowed into the woman’s vagina properly enough to conceive. And, of course, that would be the only reason to have sex. Goodness.

We can only guess that Missionaries themselves weren’t doing it doggy style, or they would have chosen that position as the “only proper way.” The sole purpose for doing it in the first place was simply to make babies. Naturally. Horses do it from behind, and so do many animals, including our doggy friends. But it works for them. (I cannot imagine dogs or cats trying other positions). However, Bonobos monkeys, gorillas and armadillos do it, ahem, Missionary style.

In Western civilization, writing about sex (and sex positions) was generally frowned upon. Henry Miller and Anais Nin were daring and revolutionary, writing erotic stories for an unknown patron. Why, then, after such brave writers have written about sex, blazing the trail for sexual freedom, do we not rename this luscious position? Why do we still call it… Missionary?

Tuscan Italians call the position “Angelic Position”, which feels downright appropriate.

It’s heavenly.

Historical sex position preferences are found to differ around the world for various reasons. The Greeks preferred it from behind. Marrying young girls, bending them over beds, and taking them was preferable. Of course, young boys were also favored this way. But that’s another subject entirely.

The Chinese were superstitiously inclined to choose “man-on-top” due to their belief that males were born face down and females were born face up. Some Colombians liked the “man-on-top” position because the woman could hold still: if the woman moved during sex, the earth would fall, because the four giants who supported the earth on their shoulders would be shaken and therefore drop the planet. It took much female shaking to cause world disaster. Sex with the “man-on-top” was a primary safety precaution in Colombia. A woman should not move her pleasure-filled body, lest the world be ruined. Indians in Kerala believed the “man-on-top” position created warriors. Brazilian Indians avoided Missionary Position, as they preferred equality during sex, with neither partner above or under one another. The Balinese also avoided the “man-on-top” position and favored the “lotus position” with the man sitting and the woman squatting and moving her hips.

Curious to think about this wonderfully intimate position as approved of by the Medieval Catholic Church. And let’s not forget our friend Thomas Aquinas. Aquinas believed that it went against nature to have sexual intercourse in “unnatural” positions (with the “Missionary Position” being considered the only natural one). Everything else was full of sin and lust. Alright, Thomas. We like the idea of a little lust in our sexual explorations and pleasures. But maybe he didn’t like sex very much.

And while we are on the subject, why is the slang for penis a “John Thomas” anyway? Thinking of poor Thomas Aquinas, I think of his sad John Thomas, aching for a roll in the hay. And “Lady Jane” is 19th century slang for vagina? Of course, once again, because our brave and daring writers! Dear D. H. Lawrence had to come up with names for sex organs in order to write about sex. He would have been much more adventurous if it wasn’t for the pressure of censorship.

“Thrusting alone is typically insufficient to bring a woman to orgasm: “What does bring her to climax is having a nice stiff penis in there, plus weight, pressure, and friction on her entire genital area (especially the clitoris), as well as on her thighs and stomach. It’s the way a man presses down on her, puts his weight on her, and rubs her with his body that makes her have an orgasm.” ~ Xaviera Hollander

I must agree with Xaviera Hollander, because that explanation is why I love the, um, Angelic Position.

home decor at it's best.

And while we are on the subject, I found a few things to decorate the bedroom with.

Check out Cafe Press : http://www.cafepress.com/+missionary-position+pillows