“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~ Anais Nin
My nom de plume is Butterfly, I am an erotica writer and journal creator of Erotica du Jour. I am also a poet, an essayist, a muralist, an artist, and a mother of three children.
My career in sex and seduction began as a burlesque dancer in 1988, at the age of 18. My first strip club venue was the Oddball Cabaret (now the Valley Ball) in the San Fernando Valley. I graduated over to The Bare Elegance Club (in 1991), gracing the stage in 40’s style gowns, garters, stockings and heels. During that time, my love for anything 40′s and film noir was grand. I created a vintage 1940’s appeal with each outfit; a Veronica Lake inspired hairstyle of deep auburn waves, elbow-length gloves and thigh high stockings. I absorbed much of the 30′s and 40′s films and loved watching the screen sirens of that time: Rita Hayworth in particular. I also developed a taste for Veuve Clicquot Champagne, and fell in love with a chef.
My dance career blossomed into my own style a la burlesque, emulating those vampy 40′s vixens, dancing to blues and jazz. I even did a sensual nude number, sprayed down by water and oil, to “The Girl From Ipanema” by Gilberto. Maybe not as racy as Josephine Baker with her “Danse Sauvage” banana dance, but I enjoyed creating routines that entertained me as much as the audience. Billie Holiday, Ray Charles, Muddy Waters, and various musicians made my hips bump and grind. I wore elegant satin gowns that spilled off my curves. Dancing nude was liberating, and I absolutely loved being a dancer. I also explored the art of belly dance, and took classes with the fabulous Dolphina.
Due to my sweet personality, a co-stripper dubbed me “The Mary Poppins of Stripping”.
Those years of high heels and wearing nothing but strobe lights gave me a gift; a sense of my own feminine strength and understanding of sensuality in its many forms. It also gave me the time to attend culinary school, paint, and write.
I danced at Maiden Voyage on Bourbon Street in New Orleans, where I lived, painted (and ate amazing food) for about five years. I painted my own works, as well as murals in many of the historic Victorian mansions along Saint Charles Avenue. Ceilings of clouds, birds and angels, walls of Chinoiserie landscapes, and decorative finishes were what I painted when not painting my own canvases. My first child was born in New Orleans by a whirlwind love affair with a wild-eyed Irish poet. I returned to Los Angeles, rediscovering my roots in the hills of Los Feliz, where I grew up. I lived in artists’ lofts in downtown Los Angeles, and frequented the Little Tokyo district. I exhibited my paintings and sold my artworks. Then I had two more children. Yes, I am a fertile goddess.
I began playing classical piano at 6 years old. Chopin, Beethoven, Mozart, Satie, and Bach were some of my favorite composers, particularly Chopin and Beethoven. My mother had this grandiose idea that I would be pounding out Rachmaninoff’s Concerto no. 2 as a result, and had dreams of my attending Julliard. Well, defiant wild thing that I was, I quit piano at 14, and began painting. I went to New York Academy of Art when I was 12 years old, for a summer program. Figure painting, drawing, and sculpture. Supposedly my family told the art academy that I was 16, so they would let me attend. I was precocious enough. I loved art school. I was in my element. The scent of oil paints, the large artists’ studios; it was a memorable summer. Other than that, I was completely self-taught. A bohemian at heart, painting and poetry are the root of my expression.
As a girl, I practiced calligraphy, and created “prose books” with illustrations and poems. I was awkward, the tallest girl in school, towering over the boys of course. I played string bass instead of the cello in the elementary school orchestra, due to my height. I won tetherball easily, and everything I wore was sparkly or in some shade of purple, my favorite color. I wore glasses. I was the geeky girl that read books in the library instead of playing on the yard. Little did anyone know, I was reading a smuggled copy of D.H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover.
During my years in New Orleans, I was in a writing group with a bunch of fabulous women. They were all fiction writers, and found it difficult to critique poetry. They suggested I try my hand at fiction. It was one hot and sultry New Orleans day that I wandered into Faulkner House Books in the French Quarter, and asked them if they would show me a few of the rare and signed editions of Anaïs Nin’s writings. The lady working in the shop, a poet, climbed the rolling ladder to reach Anaïs Nin’s “Ladders to Fire”. Anaïs’ signature inside, an image still alive in my mind, resembled an intricately crafted piece of jewelry. I held that book for a moment, and was inspired and ignited by Anaïs Nin. So I began to create erotica stories infused with poetry. I passionately consumed all of Anaïs Nin’s diaries, as well as her prose, and erotica.
The ancient Japanese poets also inspired my poetry. I admire many writers, poets, and artists past and present. Some of my favorite writers are Anais Nin, Ono No Komachi, Izumi Shikibu, Murasaki Shikibu, and Yosano Akiko. I love Haruki Murakami for his surreal, dark and quirky novels. At one point, I was completely absorbed in reading everything Murakami wrote. Currently I am reading all of M.F.K. Fisher’s writings on food and life. I began a food blog: The Sensual Foodie.
I love and admire Julia Child, Mary Frances Kennedy (M.F.K.) Fisher, Rita Hayworth, Anaïs Nin, Josephine Baker, Murasaki Shikibu, and all of the great creative women that inspire me to create art, erotica, dance, food, and live a sexual and sensual life.
My Nom de Plume “Butterfly” describes my lifelong power to transform, imagine, and reinvent myself. My life’s path has been about survival, full of obstacles, and overcoming difficulties. I have many stories. This “About Page” does not contain details, of which I have been urged to write. Even though I have led an interesting life, and have experienced a wealth of pleasure, not all of it was so wonderful, and there have been tremendous challenges. To tell the story of my own life, the raw contents of it, aside from a pen name and an “About Page”, would take some time to tell. But that is “memoir” and not “erotica”. For now, erotica. It’s something I take great pleasure in, and I am here to create pleasure.
In my non-fiction and personal essays, I would like to give insight on sensuality and sexuality, in an attempt to share with others, a myriad of wisdom gathered from my past experiences, to inspire and encourage. In my fictional erotica, I explore my own sexual fantasies with poetic language. Sometimes I just let the muse take over, to guide the story, weaving the conscious thoughts with the dream-like unconscious, never knowing what the story will be until it comes out on the page. I don’t plan each story out; it awakens, breathes, becomes alive on its own. Writing for me takes much more from my soul than painting. It requires more energy, contemplation. Paintings are active and reflective, the brush does its magic. Writing erotica is unearthing parts of my sexuality, and finding the treasures to share with the lovers of the world.
In her private life, “Butterfly” is a mother of three beautiful children, and lives with her family in Los Angeles. She enjoys biking, spinning, walking on the beach, and exploring the abundant pleasures of local farmers markets. She drives a minivan, and has recently achieved “cougar” status. To keep her sanity, she eats chocolate and has a good glass of wine. Or champagne. Or ‘Calm’ tea, heavily laden with chamomile. An avid sex toy and vibrator collector, and a great believer in Taoist sexual energetics. She fantasizes about Samurai Warriors and Wild Mongolians fighting duels to rival for her love. Needless to say, she has a yen for Asian men. Her ultimate fantasy is Chef Ming Tsai making her dinner.